If I could not make someone acknowledge the good things that I have done for her despite the fact that I do not like the things that she does and says, so be it. If I could not make someone acknowledge that SHOWING a candidate for a supervisory position (that of YOUR SUPERVISOR), that you signed a letter of endorsement for her while the others did not is unethical and unfair, so be it. If I could not make someone realize that questioning a person’s actions/motivations does not automatically mean creating a faction among a group of people who can each think individually, so be it. If I could not make someone realize that “sweetness” does not equate to one’s professional performance, so be it. If I could not make someone see that defying the laws of the universe (the SUN is the center of the universe, NOT YOU) and subjecting other people, who are not interested, to stories of how intelligent, pretty, rich, fashionable, spiritual, a food/mind/body/pedagogy expert, etc. you are day in and day out (regardless of whether this is just a coping mechanism) is no different from the harassment a child, who was made to sleep in her parents’ bedroom only to hear them do what they do at night (as shared in a seminar), is subjected to (how obscene!), so be it. If people should be labeled mean for questioning the questionable, refusing to accept b.s. and insisting to be true in words and deeds, so be it.

 We once attended a seminar on how to handle children with special needs and the speaker said that we each have our own idiosyncrasies, our own “special” needs. I agree, and I couldn’t help but construct parallelisms between observations about the special children and my own observations about normal adults with “really special” needs. One anecdote that struck me was that about a girl from the lower school who wouldn’t stay put and refused to participate in activities because, she said, “I have ADHD.” Of course, as explained by the speaker, these special children in a regular school like ours need to be given extra time, or any other applicable allowances, to finish their work but it doesn’t excuse them from accomplishing the same tasks that are given the other students. In the same line, I believe that one’s sob stories (I had a bad childhood/ I feel lonely in this fight against the world, etc.), although may provide insights on why a person is the way s/he is and merit empathy/sympathy or help, even, should not be used to rationalize whatever mistakes s/he makes or, worse, justify them. I agree that someone like her needs a listening ear to help ease her burden, but it would not be enough to effect change in such a way that a listening ear would be needed less often. Through time, discussing about, but not solving or identifying the root of, a problem becomes merely “romanticizing” the problem. As they say, the first step in solving a problem is to admit that there is a problem. The first step in correcting a mistake is to admit that a mistake has been committed. Encourage a child who has ADHD to use that as an excuse for not trying and you might as well give up hope on her. Encourage a normal adult to twist the truth so that life would be easier and you might as well damn her.

 I realized, however, that I should not let these things affect my enthusiasm to go to work, nor my outlook in life. For if there’s anyone who can rightfully define me and the course my life should take, it would be ME (with God’s guidance, of course). I need not help those who are not willing to get help; I need not change those who refuse to change; I need not challenge the opinions of the misinformed; I need not correct the mistakes that others make. Life is too short, and fighting every small battle that comes my way is just not worth it. Just as long as I, or people I care about, do not become the hapless victim/s and just as long as I avoid being the person that I do not want to be, I should be fine. The problem that I need to solve now is how to change my outlook about these things, and I’ve started working on it. The rest is, as beauty queen Melanie Marquez said: “It’s not my problem anymore, it’s their problem anymore.”